"ANTHEM"

This is one of my favourite songs. I especially love the chorus (Highlighted in Yellow).

Listen to it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OMasuK9OvYQ

The birds they sang at the break of day
Start again I heard them say
Don't dwell on what has passed away or what is yet to be.
Ah the wars they will be fought again
The holy dove
She will be caught again bought and sold and bought again the dove is never free.

Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack in everything
That's how the light gets in.

We asked for signs the signs were sent:
the birth betrayed the marriage spent
Yeah the widowhood of every government -- signs for all to see.
I can't run no more with that lawless crowd
while the killers in high places say their prayers out loud.
But they've summoned, they've summoned up a thundercloud
and they're going to hear from me.

Ring the bells that still can ring ...
You can add up the parts but you won't have the sum
You can strike up the march, there is no drum
Every heart, every heart to love will come but like a refugee.

Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack, a crack in everything
That's how the light gets in.

Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack, a crack in everything
That's how the light gets in.
That's how the light gets in.
That's how the light gets in.

Tribute to my Dog - XENA.... Gone too soon.

It will become inevitable that at some point soon, I will start talking about my dogs - Simba and Lola. But before I do, I'd like to pay tribute to my first dog and the love of my life, Xena who passed away on the 16th of July, 2008.

I remember the pain I was in when I wrote this slightly more than a year ago.....

"Xena was everything they say a dog is, and then some. She came into our lives in November of 2005 already suffering from a life-threatening lung infection. Her first week with us was spent at a vet, with KP making daily trips on a motorbike taxi to visit her. She fought hard as was her nature to and came back to us the bouncy little cocker that she would continue to be until the end.

Xena lit up every room, every place and every person she came into contact with. She was a little dynamo of boundless energy and abundant love. When in Bangkok, her trainer, our maid and all our friends totally fell in love with her at first meeting – dog lovers or not. After an overnight stay with a friend’s friend when we had to go away, we got a personal, handwritten note from him, saying how lovely Xena was to have around the house and how gentle she was with his children.

She didn’t know how to be unhappy. It wasn’t in her nature. She found joy in the simplest of things. My dirty socks, toilet rolls, a cheap ball KP bought her and her favourite – a kiss on the top of her forehead. She could also spend hours chewing happily on her rawhide bones. She was always ready to play – on the condition that she gave the command, and you fetched!

Xena was part of our family. Family hugs, meant ‘family hugs’. She would poke her head between KP and I when we were cuddling and try to wiggle her way between us. She was a strong force in our marriage, teaching us the true meaning of love and bringing us closer as a couple. We could never fight when Xena was around – she would never stand for it.

To me, she was a confidante, a trusted friend and a loving and devoted child. I shared my deepest feelings and thoughts with her everyday, and she listened patiently and was always there when I needed a cuddle. She celebrated my joys with me and was kind and understanding through my sorrows.

To KP, she was his little girl. Naughty as she was, she always melted his heart. His proudest achievement in life came in the form of toilet training her. The day she dropped the bone she was playing with and skipped to the bathroom to pee for the first time was the happiest day of his life.

They took walks almost daily and it was their special time together. She would be up to no good and kept sniffing her way thru everything but that’s just our Xena.

She never judged, never complained (except when we slept in too late!) and was happy with her lot in life, as long as she has her 2 favourite people in the world by her side, and a pretty collar around her neck. Each time she saw us, she would leap up and celebrate as if it had been years..even if we had just gone into our room for 5 minutes and come out again.

Xena was almost 3 when she took her last breath. In the last week before her death, even as her fragile and weak little body was melting away, her strength and spirit never left. Even walking was an enormous feat for her, but she tried. As sick as she was, she always walked all the way to the toilet to relieve herself (even when she temporarily lost her sight). She was dignified and a good girl even until the end.

On her last day on this earth, as I lifted her in my arms, she turned her head to look at me. I knew what she was telling me, and I told her it was ok. It was ok to let go. I would be fine.



Xena,
Thank you for giving us 2 and a half of the most wonderful years anyone could ever ask for.
Thank you for loving us so fervently and unconditionally.
Thank you for being our little bundle of love and joy.
Thank you for giving us the pleasure of loving you.

Xena girl,
Now that your suffering is over; run, little girl. Run with the wind in your face as your beautiful ears flap behind you. Know that we will always, always love you and we will see you again in heaven, with kisses and cuddles that will have no end.

Goodbye, our little angel. May you rest in peace."


Wednesday, July 16th 2008

Biggest (Balls) Loser Asia

My sister auditioned for the Biggest Loser Asia this morning. I am in awe of her.

She has always struggled with her weight ever since I could remember. As a little girl, she was chubby and got away with it cos she was georgous. She was the life of the party and my parents' pride and joy. She had this sparkling smile and deep set dimples that made you melt. Quite the performer, I remember the time we dressed her up as a Hawaiian dancer for a fancy dress contest, complete with grass skirt! She hoola'd her way right into the crowd's heart.

As she got older, her heavier side didn't seem quite so adorable anymore. And more than anything else, it ate into her self-esteem and chipped away at her confidence.
I always felt very bad and wished I could do something but I think I only made it worse. I should have stopped my father's taunting and my mother's need to love with food. I should have told I loved her more often and included her in my life more. I guess I had my own struggles. Oh well. Regrets are a waste of time.

Fast forward to the present.

My sister is happily married and is managing a company. She is a good daughter and a great sister. Not to mention a doting wife. Her move to audition for the Biggest Loser Asia must be the strongest act of courage and bravery I have ever witnessed in my life. I know my sister. I know how she battles with shyness and issues with esteem. To have her weight problem thrown into the face of the world takes balls. HUGE balls. I would never have the guts to do what she has done.

My dearest darling sister. It doesn't matter if you make it through the auditions for the Biggest Loser Asia. As far as I'm concerned, you have passed the most important audition of all - the one where you say 'I am taking control of my life because I know I can'.

Love,
Your number 1 fan.

as I get older...

I care less about the things I used to. But at the same time, I care more about the things I didn't before.

I don't care if people don't like me if it means I have to like them. I don't care if it rains and my hair gets wet and frizzy. I don't care if a friend doesn't call when she says she would or if I break a nail and lose the back of an earring.

I do care if I offend someone without meaning to. I do care that I forgot to tell my mum that I love her too in response to her 'I love you'. I also do care if I don't say everything I wanted to say to someone - be they a friend, a family member or a foe.

I am only 32. I will be here again (I hope) when I'm 42 and I wonder if these things will change. If I will care even less about some things and so much more about others. Or is this the 'me' that my 15-year old self wondered about. Have I arrived at a place that I should get comfortable with? Or should I keep myself braced and ready for more?